For the next few days, not much changes between me and Kate. I still come over and clean, and she still works on her blog. If I do something wrong, I still get punished by sitting on the couch. I guess the corner is for the big mess-ups. Kate still calls me pet names, and she still ruffles my hair. But it makes me feel even warmer now, knowing that she does these out of love.
A couple of days later, she says she's posted her article about Victoria on her blog, and she actually hands me her laptop and tells me to read it while she makes dinner.
~Victoria Fabre, 27, French model and fashion blogger~ is the caption underneath a gorgeous picture of the lovely blonde. (Did Kate actually take this in the kitchen?! I shake my head and continue on with her article.)
French model and fashion extraordinaire Victoria Fabre joined me in my teeny kitchen this week to discuss her views on the LGBT community, the gay marriage ruling in the US, and her lifestyle in the dom/sub community. (There's a brief biography about Victoria, which I skim, but I just wanna get to the interview.)
-K: So, first off, I feel like I should apologize for outright flirting with you when we got here.
-V: Oh, no! I'm used to it! You are very sweet.
-K: I try! Anyway! This is your third time in America, isn't it?
-V: Yes! I missed the food; it's always so much sweeter here. And the people smile at you more.
-K: Both true. And you said you went to your first LGBT club. How was THAT?
-V: It was incredible! Everyone was so nice and they were all dancing.
(It goes on like for a while, Kate asking questions about Victoria's views on the LGBT community and her experiences with it in America and France. Then there's some time where they talk about how America fucking finally ruled gay marriage in favour of the Constitution, and Victoria talks about how even France is still dealing with homophobic people trying to get their government to oppose the ruling. It isn't until they start talking about this "dom/sub" lifestyle that I pay attention.)
-K: So, when did you realize you enjoyed being a sub?
-V: Mm, I think I've known ever since I was young, that I enjoyed being taken care of. I was always doing what I was told, without a second thought. And when I began dating, I found I liked more...dominant lovers. I liked being out of control. It is not as though I am mindless, but I enjoy being told what to do.
-K: Not having to worry about everything for a little while.
-V: Yes. That's it. I love the freedom. Especially with the career I have right now, I hardly have time on my own. So if I have someone else to decide things for me, it is a big load off my shoulders.
-K: I wish I could tell you I understand, but I don't!
-V: Yes, you're a dom! How is THAT?
-K: Hey, this is YOUR interview! My followers already know all that!
-V: Yes, of course! I forgot! (The rest is what I heard in the kitchen before I rudely interrupted.)
I lean back and try to understand why Kate wanted me to read this. Then I open a tab and look up "dom/sub relationships". Thankfully, I'm not immediately sent to porn or something creepy like that, but I do find that this is a kind of kink. But it is also a lifestyle, that people do in fact find it relaxing to give up control to someone else and call them "Master" or "Mistress" and act like a slave. Or others just give their doms massages and make them food...clean the house.
"Zoe, dinner's ready!" Kate calls from the kitchen, making me jump.
"O-Ok!" I call back, slapping her laptop shut. Does she want to talk about this? Or does she want me to do more research first?
I go into the kitchen and find that she's made lasagna, and she's already set the tiny table with two plates of the delicious-smelling pasta and two glasses of wine. I can't help but smile, feeling like this is a date.
And she makes it even better when she pulls out my chair for me. "My lady."
I rub my hands over my cheeks to try and hide how red they are. "No one's ever called me that before. Or pulled out my chair before. Or cooked me dinner before," I say as I sit down.
"Well, get used to it, babydoll, 'cause I plan to spoil you," she grins, sitting across from me. "If-If that's all right with you, that is," she quickly adds. "I don't wanna do anything you're not comfortable with."
I shake my head, feeling my cheeks getting even more red. "I'm just not...used to getting spoiled."
Her smile makes me feel like a million butterflies are dancing in my stomach. "And here I thought I was getting you used to it, especially over Christmas when I bought you those books."
I smile wide, remembering all the books she gave me. "I can't believe you still won't let me know how expensive those were."
"'Cause you don't need to know," she snickers. "I loved the look on your face when you opened the 'Game of Thrones' set. I should've taken a picture."
I roll my eyes at her. "I don't like getting my picture taken."
"Why not? You're beautiful," she says, her eyes never leaving mine.
I shake my head, my cheeks losing their flush. "Victoria is beautiful. You called her lovely and gorgeous, remember?"
"Yes, I remember. But I also remember telling you that I never lie to a woman's face. If I believe she's beautiful, I'm sure as Hell gonna tell 'er. So I'm sure as Hell gonna tell you that I find you beautiful." Though her words were a bit rude, her face and voice were totally serious. And it makes it all the more difficult not to blush again.
"U-Um, I read the, um, interview," I admit. And before she can reply, I blurt out, "Are we in a 'dom/sub' relationship?"
She sets her fork down and folds her hands, looking down at her plate. It feels like there's static in the air, and I wonder if I should've just kept my mouth shut. "I'll admit, I've been letting my dom side out around you since the beginning," she suddenly says. "When you ding-dong-ditched me, I was cranky and I just immediately treated you like my sub that needed to be taught a lesson. And when you were ditched naked by your friends, the more, um, nurturing side of me came out. There's more to a dom than dealing out punishment." She snorts and looks up at me with pink in her cheeks. "Though, I'm sorry, but I do enjoy the shame on your face when I make you sit in 'time-out'. It's only because I know I get to help calm you down afterward. 'After-care' is the term for it. After a punishment, the dom is supposed to help the sub relax, make them feel cared for. What we've been doing is extremely 'vanilla' compared to what most doms and subs do in the community. But, then again, we weren't exactly in a constructed relationship anyway, so..."
I slowly nod my head, trying to understand everything she just said, but it all sounded like a bunch of alien terms that I need to do more research on, and thankfully she seems to read my expression of confusion and smiles. "I know it all sounds weird, but I promise I'm not into whips and chains and latex. We can talk about this. This is all about communication and consent. This doesn't work if both parties don't agree."
I can't help but grin. "This sounds like a contract."
She snickers at that, lightly kicking me under the table. "Sometimes it involves papers and checklists! But that comes later, baby. We don't have to change anything if you don't want to. I'm perfectly happy where things are right now. I just wanted you to know why I do the things I do."
I feel my chest start to warm. She trusts me with something important about her. Maybe there's more about her experiences with this on her blog, more about her views and what she likes and stuff. There wasn't much about what lesbian dom/sub couples do on the couple of websites I found earlier.
The rest of dinner goes great. We talk about going to the movies and maybe even just letting me move in after the semester is over since I practically live here anyway. I can live in the guest room while our relationship grows. (And that way I'll have a safe place if my anxiety gets too terrible.)
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