Where am I right now? In the corner, my hands behind my back, my nose in-between the walls. What did I do to earn this punishment? It's a long story...
Kate got back into her musicals and has gone back into coming home late, leaving me specific chores to have completed by the time she gets back. I've been doing a good job of having them finished, even being at the door to greet her with a kiss and a cool towel to help her relax. Lately, as rehearsals get longer and more intense, I have a bath ready for her, too, as well as a fresh bottle of water. She's been praising me and kissing me and I've been on an eternal Cloud 9 for weeks.
Then Nicole shows up at the front door sobbing about how she and Mike had finally gone steady, but had cheated on her the whole time. Unable not to feel bad for my former friend, I pull her inside and get her some lemonade, hoping she'll finally be better, too, now that we're both free. I eventually take pity on her and bust out the wine. Not enough to seriously get us drunk, but enough to get us buzzed. We talk about how much of a douche Mike was and how glad we are that he'll be moving out of state next year with his equally-douchey father. We laugh and catch up and apologize and it just feels good to have her as a friend without Mike egging her on. We keep drinking and laughing and talking and at some point, we get tired, but too tired to make it off the couch.
I wake up to Kate tapping my cheek and softly calling my name. My vision is hazy, my mouth fuzzy. The room spins as I sit up. Nicole is still snoozing next to me, I realize. I look back up at Kate and wonder why she has her arms crossed, her foot tapping loudly on the floor. Her eyes are hard.
And then my stomach drops. Kate is home. My chores aren't done. Nicole is here. I didn't tell Kate. I am in so much trouble. "I'm s-"
That one word freezes my whole body. Kate gently nudges Nicole, but all my blonde friend does is groan and roll over. Kate sighs and carefully lifts her into her arms before looking at me. "Get up and get a blanket and a bucket," she orders.
I quickly do as I'm told, getting a blanket from the hall closet and a bucket from the bathroom. When I return to the living room, Kate has laid Nicole down on the couch. I hand her the blanket, trembling when she takes it from me -even though it wasn't forecful- and lays it over her. Then she takes the bucket from me and lays it beside the couch.
She points to me. "Stay right there," she orders before walking into the kitchen. I wait with shaking legs as I hear her move around and open the fridge. She returns with a bottle of water, one that I usually have ready for her now. Shame rolls around in my stomach, along with remnants of the wine I drank earlier.
She takes my arm firmly and makes me follow her down the hall to her bedroom, a place I've only been when I have a nightmare and I want to sleep with her. It's large and most of the space is taken up by her enormous blue bed and desk, but it's comfortable and has even more books and geeky knick-knacks everywhere that she cleans herself.
She leads me to a corner in-between the desk and her closet and points. "Arms behind your back. Nose in." I do as she says, tears rolling down my cheeks. "Twenty minutes. Not a word."
She doesn't hate me. She doesn't hate me. She doesn't hate me. I tell myself that over and over. If she hated me, she wouldn't be punishing me. She'd be telling me to get out. This is part of our relationship, I tell myself. After my punishment is over, we'll talk about this and I'll apologize and she'll forgive me and we can go back to normal. Still, my stomach hurts with the guilt that I didn't complete my chores and Kate doesn't have a bath ready and has to wait now and deal with me first.
And that's how I've ended up in the corner. I can hear Kate behind me on the bed, typing away on her laptop. I don't know what she's doing, maybe typing up a blog about her incompetant sub, no doubt. More shame rolls in my stomach, making a cramp make itself known. Fuck, I really need to pee. How long have I been back here? Five minutes? Ten minutes? If I ask Kate, I know she'll only add time. I just hope I can hold it until my punishment's over, then ask if I can go to the bathroom before we continue.
As time goes on, though, I can feel the cramp in my stomach getting wrose, only half of it from anxiety now. The twenty minutes have to be over soon, right? I can hold on a little longer. But I swear every second feels like an hour, and I eventually cross my legs. Kate told me to be quiet, but this time she didn't tell me I couldn't move. And I'm proven correct when I don't hear her reprimand me. I try to think about other things, like medical charts and dumb commericals and my stupid professors. It helps for a little bit, but my bladder is screaming at me, and I bite my lip and clench my thighs when I feel some daring to leak. No, I refuse to wet myself! Kate would definitely hate me if I wet myself! Twenty minutes must be coming to a close! Please, God! My teeth are digging into my lip so hard into my lip that it's killing me, but not nearly as much as my bladder hurts right now. It's cramping so badly, trying to hold it all in, and I'm trying so hard. But when a little escapes and runs down my leg, I gasp and immediately reach around to cup myself.
"Zoe," I hear Kate start. I keep my face in the corner, waiting for her order to move. But when I hear her get up, I tense, feeling another trickle leak out of me as I choke back a sob. No, don't come over here! "Zoe, do you need to go to the bathroom?" she asks me. I immediately nod my head, cupping myself harder.
She gently takes my arms and starts to lead me across the hall to the bathroom. Every step I take, I'm biting my lip so hard it bleeds to not soak myself then and there. But as soon as I see the toilet, it's like a floodgate is open and I look at Kate in a panic. One second, she's scooping me up and setting me in the tub, and the next, I'm wetting myself, right there in the shower while my girlfriend holds me up. I can't stop myself from whimpering with relief as my bladder empties, but I grip her arm and can't bear to look at her. I can't believe it. I can't believe I just peed myself right in front of her. Before I know it, I'm crying. It's just too much. The shame from earlier, the shame from now. It's too much!
"Hey, hey, shh, I've got you, sweetheart. It's all right. You're all right. Shh. I've got you," Kate coos, gently sitting me down. "I'm so sorry I didn't notice earlier that you had to go, baby. I'm sorry I made you wait." She kisses the top of my head and gently rubs my back, soothing me as I cry.
I can't ever look at her again! I wet myself! Why would she ever want a girlfriend who wet herself right in front of her?! How can she even touch me right now?!
"Zoe, honey, look at me." Kate cups my cheeks and tilts my face up so I'm looking at her. Her face is blurry because of my tears. "If you ever need to go to the bathroom, or if you're bleeding or you're really uncomfortable, you NEED to tell me, ok? You won't be punished for that."
I just nod my head, shivering as my jeans start to get cold. She sighs and kisses my forehead. "Would you be all right with me cleaning you up? I promise I won't do anything sexual. This can be our after-care." I nod my head again, just wanting her to stay with me and keep telling me that everything's all right.
She leaves me for only a second, returning with a towel. She helps me out of the tub and runs the shower for a minute while I undress. I flush bright red as Kate takes a scrub-brush and a quickly cleans the bottom of the tub. I should be doing that. It was my mess. But then she's turning the shower off and filling the tub with nice, hot water. And when she deems it full enough, she shuts the faucet off and turns to hold out her hand for me. My flush worsens when I realize I'm naked, and I quickly try to cover myself.
She smiles. "Honey, I've seen you naked before. Remember, when you skinny-dipped in my pool that one night?"
That just makes my stomach tighten, remembering how stupid I was back then. But if I hadn't done that that night, we wouldn't have become friends, we wouldn't have become girlfriends. I let my arms drop, and I take her hand and let her lead me into the bath. I practically melt into the hot water, sighing and closing my eyes as I lean back.
"Yeah, that feels better, doesn't it?" Kate murmurs. I only hum in reply, making her chuckle. "So, I'm guessing that was Nicole in there? What happened?"
"She and Mike apparently finally went out," I tell her, opening my eyes to watch her squirt some of my body wash onto my purple sponge. "But Mike cheated on her the whole time. He's always been an asshole. I was just hoping she'd be smart enough to see it. But I guess she gave in, and she got hurt."
She nods her head and starts to wash my arm. "So she came over and you two got smashed on wine?" she grins.
"What else are girls supposed to do when a guy cheats on one of you?" I ask.
She tilts her head. "Touche`. So, the reason I punished you is because you didn't finish your chores, you had a guest over and didn't tell me, and you got drunk. Had you INVITED her over, I would've made your punishment much longer, but she invited herself over, right?" I nod my head. "Right. You would've had your chores done beforehand otherwise." She moves onto my other arm, every movement gentle and precise. "And...again, I'm so sorry. I should've made you go to the bathroom before your punishment. I should've known all that wine would go right through you."
I shake my head. "It wasn't your fault."
"I'm your dom, Zoe. It's my job." She sighs then, and I suddenly understand that I'm not the only one working hard not to mess this up. She has to come up with all the punishments and what to say to me to make me feel better. She has to keep herself cool and collected. She has to make sure I'm relaxed. She has to come up with all the things for me to do. And yet she's the one who still has two jobs on top of all of this.
"I love you, Kate," I whisper.
She pauses cleaning my chest and looks up at me, her eyes warm. Her smile is so tiny, I almost miss it. "I love you, too, Zoe, baby," she whispers back, and I close my eyes as she leans in to kiss me. I happily hum into the kiss, just wishing I could melt into her mouth. She chuckles as she pulls away, nipping at my bottom lip. "You really like kissing, don't you, baby girl?" I nod, wanting her to keep going. But she shakes her head. "No no, gotta get you clean, sweetheart. Then we can kiss all you want."
So I lean back and let her finish cleaning me up, enjoying how gentle she is. Even when she cleans between my legs, she makes it quick and careful. And when she's done, she drains the tub and wraps me in the towel. She wraps her arm around me and we walk back to her bedroom. I let her dress me in a pair of her panties and a big t-shirt, and I relax under the covers and watch as she changes into another big tee before climbing in with me. After kissing and cuddling for a little while, I fall asleep with my head on her chest, wrapped in her warm arms.
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